Show and Tell

First of all, if you're not interested in "hand-made," please just hang up now.  Exit out.  Click the back button.  You will NOT enjoy this post.  It's just a bunch of stuff crafted by yours truly.  

There now.  If you don't enjoy this post, it's not my fault.  It's yours... unless you do like hand made things, but think my stuff is c-r-a-p-- which is totally possible.  In that case, sorry for wasting 5 minutes of your day.  

*****

For my mother-in-law's birthday, I made her this fabulous quilt.  I say fabulous because I really thought about keeping it!  It's simple, I know, but I adore the fabrics.  They have a certain vintage, earthy feel that suits me- and her- perfectly.  All of this fabric is from the DS line from Joann Fabrics.  

I backed it with a great, vintage sheet I picked up at Goodwill.  

One day, many moons from now, someone in my house will inherit this quilt and we'll know that it was used by a very special lady; and it will be special because it was hers.  And because the fabric is darn amazing.  

*****

Believe it or not, I carry my iron with me when I sew with my buddies.  Yes, ironing is an important part of sewing.  If I would have known just how important, I probably would have picked another hobby. 

Here's the iron caddy I made with my Life Group at church... 

And here it is with the handles...

What's super cool about this iron caddy is that it unfolds into an ironing pad.  

*****

I was about to chunk some nasty outdoor pillows when I had a brain surge and remembered that I have a sewing machine.  I whipped up four pillow-covers, all different, that I can remove and wash.  They really brighten up my back porch.  And the nasty can be washed off ever-so-often.   Genius, I know.  

*****

Listen, friends, if you ever decide to sew anything, anything at all, sew this.  It may save your sanity.  No joke.  My kids have never been able to hang a towel.  EVER.  And there are four of them.  I found myself yelling "Who left the wet towel on the dining room table?" or "We don't leave towels on the back of the toilet for a reason!!!  Bring me a bucket someone, please!!!"  And more often than not, I'd find puddles of towel on the floor directly under the towel hooks.  So... I solved my own problem.  

I bought each kid a different colored towel and sewed a loop in the center for hanging.  They have to use their own towel and they MUST hang it up; preferable on the towel hooks in the bathroom, but I'll let the door knob slide by on occasion.  Now, if I find an orange towel on the floor, I know exactly which kid to beat.  Aren't we all happy round here, now?!  I know I am.  

*****

 

So I made this cutesy little basket for the girls to keep their Smurfs in.  Liliana insisted it made a better hat.  

In efforts to gain the Smurf basket back, I made Liliana her very own hat.  And she LOVES it!!  Or did.  I think she's forgotten about it.  Or lost it.  Either way, she was a very happy chica for at least 3 days.  

*****

Another of our Life Group projects was to make baby quilts for our local Women's Pregnancy Center.  What an honor to sew a quilt for a baby who IS because his mama chose LIFE!!  

I was surprised to discover that our quilts will not be handed over casually, but will be earned.  By attending parenting classes and similar things, mothers earn points that can be be redeemed in the "store."  May God bless the baby that gets this quilt!  In three or four years, I hope it's completely ratty from being loved, toted, and drug through the dirt (not talking' about the baby, here)!  Nothing would bless my heart more.

*****
Speaking of babies... My cousin and his wife just had a beautiful one!!  Or handsome, better yet.  He is unbelievably cute.  And tiny.  And his cry can break the hardest of hearts- it is the sweetest cry ever.

I know a good bib can save the day so I made him three towel bibs.

These are the best things ever!  All you do is cut a hole in a hand towel, use knit to create a soft neck, and add some sort of fun to it.  You can always buy a hand towel that already has monkeys or something stitched in, but those are more pricey, so I go with plain and add my own decorations.  

Here's a close up of the appliqués:

I love the letter H so this one was fun!  The fabric is from Robert Kauffman's Dr. Sues line.

And here's all three designs I used...  I love the contrasting thread.

*****

Here's my sweet Liliana in her Dr. Sues ensemble.  She loves it, although she couldn't understand why I wouldn't let her wear her Dr. Sues hat to church with it.  It's all Dr. Sues, you know?!  Never mind the utter distraction she would be.

*****

I have two sweet, little friends that I'd been dying to build skirts for.  Finally, I got them finished!!  They were sooo excited to get them and have thanked me and raved about them several times.  Honestly, I don't know who is happier, me or them!  I love giving gifts and when those gifts are loved... wow!

Are these not the cutest girls ever?!!  I just love them!  All smiles and happy here...

I also made some matching headbands that I tested on Henry.  He's covering his face so you won't know it's him wearing something girl.  Ooops.  Guess I let the cat outta that bag.  

They were super easy to make.  I used black elastic-- worked like a charm!!

*****

I know it's boring, but I'm ending with my super-cool, $8 ironing board.  It's wider and taller than a standard board and I like it a lot!  I made a cover to dress it up a bit and it's my new, favorite ironing board (I have four- don't judge).  And if you're in the market for a really good iron~ go with a Rowenta.  My friend, Michelle, introduced me and boy was she right!!  Make sure you get the German made Rowenta (some Rowentas aren't made in Germany- so check).

*****

I'm excited to show a few more things that I'm almost done with!  Hoping to finish up soon so I can play show and tell again.  

Happy Summer! And Happy Sewing!

XXXOOO

Don't Forget to Shave!

Have a look-see at a letter I received from a reader today...

Karolyn, I wanted to write you and tell you thanks for writing your blog about your dermotology visit. I remember reading it and thinking that it's been years since I've been to the dermotologist and if Karolyn can bare down...I can too.  The very next day I scheduled an appointment to meet the derm and discuss my body type as well as the numerous "beauty marks" on my body. We met...I loved him, scheduled the full body scan and...cancelled....3 times! I ALWAYS had an excuse. Then, they called last week and said they had a cancellation for Wed and did I want it? I put on my big girl panties (VS, of course) and wore my "real" deoderant (thanks for the tip) and sat, stood and cringed as he shined his light EVERYWHERE. I left with 3 biopsys and 8 photos and orders to come back in 6 months. I thought...well, that wasn't all that bad...I need to write Karolyn and thank her for giving me a "heads up". Everything is easier when you're prepared.  Well, I received a personal phone call from the derm yesterday morning. It seems that one of the spots on my leg is type one melanoma. I'm going Wednesday to meet the plastic surgeon and then we'll go from there. So, now I'm writing you to say, "Thanks! You very possibly saved my life.Thanks for sharing the intimate details of your life! Thanks for encouraging your readers to go to 

the Doctor! You Rock!!"

Side note: my particular melanoma is genetic but is brought out/made worse with the sun. My sister and Mom are both getting checked on May 8th. 

I'd sooo be lying if I told you this didn't make my eyes tear up a bit.  Wow!

So I say again...  

Strip down and get checked!!  You're not too young.  

If you've never read my candid retelling of a visit to the dermatologist, check it out by clicking HERE.

I'll be visiting the good doctor early next week for him to remove a place on my lower neck.  1 out of the 3 biopsies from February came back bad.  

And remember...

People who regularly visit the dermatologist don't die of skin cancer. 

Spring Break 2012

For Spring Break, Zebby-do joined the throngs of others who flocked to the mountains and spread their wings on the slopes of Breckenridge.  It was his first time skiing and he had a blast.  Thank you Nonnie and Papa.  

He was super excited about riding on a plane...

and a ski lift...

Zeb was the first in our (little) family to go on our (larger) family's annual skiing vacay. They quit asking us several years back, and who can blame them?  I'd get tired of hearing heck, no, too.  

  My parents shocked us by asking Zeb to go and we shocked them by saying yes.  Michal was a  bit disappointed to miss out on all the fun, but her tears dried quickly when Non and Pop handed her a brand-spankin'-new iPod touch.  Everyone has a price.   

In efforts to even out the fun factor, Lee and I loaded up the three younger kids and headed to...

It was a great time, for sure!!  I totally recommend at least a half day there.  There's a modest entry fee that includes the mermaid shows, animal shows, a boat ride, and a small water park.  Kids 5 and under get in free so it was cheaper than a movie for us (even without the popcorn!).  

I was not expecting to see a merman...  times are a'changing.  

The kids were super happy about meeting this beautiful mermaid.  Liliana got a little fresh and rubbed her mer-thigh.  She was determined to have the full experience.  

Who doesn't love a good photo op?  My mom swears I look JUST like her in this picture.  I'm not really seeing it.  

Ah, ah, ah.... Ah, ah, ahhhhhh....

I don't think I'll be cast for Ariel anytime soon, but I do like my mermaid body!!  

Lots of Pea-fowl at WW!  And Liliana chased EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. THEM.  

Liliana liked this statue so much she decided to give her a goodbye kiss.  Gross, I know.  

She's five.  What do you expect?  

We called it a day at the Land of Mermaids and crashed at a local hotel.  I could write a series of posts of why I HATE staying at hotels.  Another day, my friend, another day.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day we loaded up in the m.v. (that's short for Mini Van) and headed even farther south to Clearwater Marine Aquarium to see Winter the Tail-less Dolphin.  For reasons I will never understand, my girls coaxed us into driving 5 hours and spending nearly $100 to see this dolphin-with-no-tail.  Meanwhile, we have hundreds upon hundreds of whole dolphins a mere boat ride away from home.  If you catch them at the right time, it's breath-taking. 

 But they have tails.  

I must admit the movie Dolphin Tale is a good one.  The story is amazing.  The righteous part of me is screaming about the millions of dollars being spent on this dolphin when there are kids dying of starvation every day, but the story is amazing.  

Here she is, in all her prosthetic glory...

Winter has had several tails.  The girls were able to hold Tail Number 18:

We also met a turtle...

and had some fun at the sting ray tank...

So I totally missed it, but Lee had his 15 minutes of fame when a kid fell into the stingray tank.  He heard a splash and then a scream.  In that dream-like slowness, he turned--- knowing it was Liliana.  Alas, it was not; BUT, being the super-hero he was born to be, Lee rescued unknown child from sting-ray peril.  Bravo, Lee! Bravo!

This is one of my favorite pictures ever...  Sister love, right there, folks... Sister love.  

The CMA is small.  I mean, NOT BIG AT ALL small!  I asked a staff member about the daily traffic.  "Before the movie," she replied, "we had about 200 a day.  Now, we have an average of around 4,500 a day."  

Good grief!!!  It cost our family of 5 around $85 to get in the door.  

Winter is a dang rich Dolphin.

*****************

Our quick trip came to and end.  It was great to be home.  We sent the kids inside to get ready for bed and 2 out of 3 followed orders.  Liliana just didn't quite make it...  

Good night, sweet heart.

A Wise Pinner Once Pinned...

A wise pinner once pinned:

My brother, who does not pin, post, or blog told me that blogging was a form of self praise.  "You write about all these really good things  in your life-- the best of your life-- and you leave out all the ugly.  You make yourself look really good- like you have the perfect life, but you don't."  He wasn't berating or attacking me at all.  It was a genuine, true observation.  

So here's a run down of all the "ugly" going on right now.  The truth.  

And lest it seem I'm feeling sorry for myself, please refer to the above quote; I have done so many times today.  

~I'm about 15 pounds over weight.  Why?  Because I don't like to exercise and I do like to eat.  And my husband's getting fat and I'd hate for him to feel all alone up there at the top of the scales.  

~I have a very sick goat right now.  And of all the things I've pictured hauling in my minivan, Ms. Brown was NOT one of them...

That was a $220 ride to the vet.  She's still sick.

The first two uglies were just warm ups.  Now on to the meat of my woes... 

~Last week I bought a $45 part to repair the flap on the freezer door where the ice comes out.  I replaced that cyllinoid myself and I was proud.  I have no clue how to spell cyllinoid and neither does my spell check.  Oh well.  Three weeks ago, I paid $200 to have the relay switch replaced on the same fridge because it was on fire (literally) and the smell was just too much to handle.  And I didn't want the house to burn down.   Friday, a new problem popped up and I called the repair guy again.  He came and did NOT advise repairing.  Thankfully, it is my second refrigerator.  

~Tomorrow, a different repair man will come and repair my main refrigerator, which is all fridge- no freezer.  It's still under warranty (thus a different guy) so it'll only cost $350.  Can probably find that under the cushions of the couch.  

~I've had my stove worked on 3 times this month and think the problem is finally solved.  Yay.  For a good while I could turn it on and nothing! The kids could have crawled in and played their iPods without breaking a sweat.    

~Our under the counter ice maker has been broken for over 3 years.  We had it worked on 4 times.  U Line is the Satan of under the counter ice makers.  Now that our spare fridge is stone cold dead (or stone room temperature dead) we will not be offering our guests iced tea at present.  

~A year ago, one of our a/c units downstairs burnt up.  Like on-fire-it's-amazing-the-house-didn't-burn-down burnt up.  Yep.  We have to have a whole new handler in the attic.  Thank God for mild winters and space heaters.  

~Our Polaris pool vac gave up the ghost a few weeks back.  Have you priced those lately? 

~Our stand up freezer was sickly and I got some free advice from Uncle Repair Man.  He comes around so often that he really does feel like family.  So I'm repairing that now.  This is the second condenser I've uncovered this week.  

Michal says I should start a repair business.  If only it were that easy. Hopefully, I'll have it up and running by bedtime.  

~My dishwasher works, because I replaced it about six months ago.  Whew!  

*******************

Obviously, I have major trouble with appliances.  Ever met one of those people who just can't grow plants?  Same thing.  Except their plants are my appliances.  

I was thinking the other day that if my appliances were employees, I'd fire them.  If they were husbands, I'd divorce them.  If they were children I would spend every dime I had to send them away to boarding school.  Case closed.

*******************

In the midst of all the self-loathing today, I could list a thousand things to be thankful for.  One of which is holding the tears at bay until the repair man was out of sight.  My kids are healthy, my husband is mostly amazing, my parents are a delight to our little family... the list goes on.  So I look at the quote and keep saying over and over in my head...

I have a good life.

I have a good life.

I have a good life.

I have a good life.

I have a good life.  

It's just been a crap of a day.  

My Own Dose of Funny

If you'd like to know what this ongoing diary is all about, please visit here.

11/20/2012:
Me:  (calling Liliana from another part of the house) Liliana... come here babe.
Liliana: (calling back) Why did you go under they-yer?
Me:  (calling back to her) Under where?
Liliana:  Haaaaaaaah!  I made you say under way-yer!!!!!  Heeeheeeheeee!!!

11/14/2012:
Henry:  Why is your bottom so big, Mama?

Guess I should have kept right on going past Krispy Kreme this morning.  Darn donuts.

11/2012:
The kids were prattling on in the kitchen when I hear one of them say, "I'm not FAT!  Daddy's FAT!" Then another piped in with, "Yep, Daddy's fat.  Daddy's definitely fat."

11/6/2012:

Liliana:  They're having a yard sale!!
Me:  No, that's a voting precinct.  People go there to vote.
Liliana:  For what?
Me:  For the President.  (wondering how well she's been listening) Who do you want to be President?
Liliana: I don't know their names.
( So I tell her.  Then we talk about who I voted for.)
Liliana:  Is the first guy bad?
Me: Well, no, he just doesn't follow the Bible.
Liliana:  So he kicks people.
Me:  Well...
Liliana: (interrupting) And he punches popele in the nuts?
Me:  LILIANA!  We don't talk like that.

If only it were that simple!  (I must admit I'm happy to live in a home where we do not bash the President of our nation- even when we disagree with him.)


9/11/2012
At dinner Michal was talking about Middle School and wondering (not too pleased) why she can't go next year.

Zeb:  She suffered from it and she doesn't want us suffering from it.

Michal:  Yeah, I heard her say it was the worst 3 years of her life!  (chuckle, chuckle)

Middle school sounds a bit like a bad rash, huh?


8/26/2012

Our goose, Sharpay, laid her first egg yesterday; and although it wasn't golden, we were excited just the same.  Due to the fact that her mate, Howard, committed suicide a month ago, we are confident that there is no chance a baby goose is in that egg!  The girls aren't so sure, though, and want to put it in the incubator.  There is no reasoning with Liliana, but with Michal...

Michal:  Mom, let's hatch it!
Me:  It's not fertile, baby.
Michal:  But how do you knooooowwwww?
Me:  Because you need a boy and a girl to make an egg fertile.
Michal:  But there could be a boy in that egg.  That may work.
Me:  No, you need Howard and Sharpay together.  A boy and a girl together.
Michal: (somewhat disappointed) Is that a law?
Me:  (giving pause) Pretty much...


8/22/2012

Liliana:  Mom, I'm in fuhst gwade and that's too old to be wetting my pull-up.  Can I just sleep on the toilet?

8/7/2012

nightmares of a six year old girly-girl...

Liliana crawled in bed with me this morning after having a horrible dream. "Tell me about it, baby," I say.

"I was at Warl-mart and a man took my Barbie and poured glitter on all my stuff."
"Oh, no!" I replied, "Could you get the glitter off?"
"No, it was sticky glitter."

I'm thinking a therapist may be in order.  Where and when and how much glitter we use is a personal decision, darn it.

8/2012:

I wanted to know if Liliana understood the concept of sin so I asked her.
Me:  Do you know what sin is?
Liliana: It's when you do bad things like stick your toe in someone's food.
Me: Have you ever sinned?
Liliana:  (emphatically) No mam!

7/29/2012
Me: Zeb, did you brush your teeth?
Zeb:  Yes m'am.
Me: (doubtful) You did?
Zeb:  Yes m'am.
Me:  (still doubtful) Tonight?
Zeb: Yes m'am! (insert quick finger snap/point combination here) You can pray to God and ask Him and He'll say "Yes!"

7/2012
Our house rules hang prominently in the kitchen.  These rules came straight from my brain- so if you're wondering why they're simple, well, there ya' go.  Here they are:

So Liliana did something very unkind the other day and the "great suffering" entitled to her was not administered right away.  A few hours later I called her to me.  The convo went like this:

Me:  Liliana, what you did to Henry was very unkind and now it's time for your punishment.
Liliana:  But Mama, youuuuuu, bwoke a wule, too.  Youuuuuu  didn't act quickly.  You're supposed to act quickly and youuuuu  bwoke the wule, too.

Needless to say, there wasn't much suffering after that conversation.  I did learn a lesson, though!  I need to Obey Quickly as well.  I expect immediate obedience.  When that doesn't happen, they should expect immediate discipline.

7/16/2012
I've been working very hard with Henry about not touching or messing with things that don't belong to him.  This is not an easy task.  He touches EVERYTHING!!!

Me:  Henry, is that yours?
Henry:  No sir. (he rarely uses m'am)
Me:  Why are you touching it?
Henry:  I don't knowwwwww....  I don't know how to stop touching everything.  When you go to Africa they touch everything all the time.

7/10/2012
Me:  Henry why do you lie to me?
Henry:  I don't knowwwwwww.
Me:  Do you like spankings?
Henry:  Noooooo.  
Me:  You must because you lie and when you lie you get a spanking.
Henry: I don't like spanking.
Me:  Then why do you lie?
Henry: Zeb teaches me to lie.
Me:  I don't think so.
Henry:  Well, I think so!

7/9/2012:
Liliana:  Michal kicked me in my nuts!!!!
Me:  Liliana, you don't have nuts.
Liliana: (enlightened) Oh.  She kicked me in my business.

7/6/2012:
Liliana:  Mama,  every night I go to sleep and when I wake up it's morning. I don't know how that happens, but it does.  Every time.

6/22/2012
Zeb:  Mama, what did they call TV when you were young?
Me:  TV.
Zeb:  Really?

6/15/2012
Liliana:  Mama, how do you say I love you in Hand Spanish.

Pretty sure she's talking about sign language.

***********

Michal:  ALRIGHT, who sliced the cheese???!!!

4/3/2012
Zeb:  Mom, I learned a new bad word today at school.
Me:  What is it?
Zeb:  (whispering in my ear- although no one else is around) m-a-g-g-e-t
Me:  Maggot?  Maggot's not a bad word.
Zeb:  Wait, maybe it's not maggot....  Uhmmmm...  Man, I can't remember it... Wait... Wait!!  Oh, yeah... it's f-a-g-g-e-t.  That's it.
Me:  Yeah, that's not a nice word.  Don't say it.

Not once did he ask me what it meant.

4/2/2012
While Liliana has ceased calling people humans- now they're just people, Henry has started calling his brother and sisters "friends."  Don't tell me he's not picking things up at preschool.  "Mama, I just want to play with my friends.  I don't want to go clean my room."

3/13/2012
Michal:  Is the clock on the stove an hour behind?
Me:  Yes, I haven't changed it yet.
Michal:  Why do we change the time?
Me: (hoping this is correct) To make the day longer.  It helps us to conserve energy.  We don't have to keep the lights on as long.
Michal:  But how does the sun know?

3/5/2012
Henry:  Lili, where you from?
Liliana:  I'm from nowhere.  I'm from...  I wasn't adopted.  I'm from no where.  I'm from Mama's belly.  I'm from Mama, and that's just nasty.

3/4/2012
Zeb is going snow skiing for the first time with my parents during Spring Break.  He is not happy about going to ski school.

Me: Zeb, why don't you want to go to ski school?
Zeb: I just don't like the idea of going to another country and going to school with people I don't know.
Me: You're not going to another country, you're going to another state.
Zeb: But Asia is a continent.
Me: Yes, and Colorado is a state.
Zeb: But China is a country in Asia, and Asia is a continent.
Me:  Go get the globe...

3/2/2012
Michal:  "For Peter's sake, Zeb! Shut the door."

3/1/2012
Henry: Mama!! I've got good news!!!!
Me: You do?
Henry: (with a total I'm going to be really funny face and voice...) Home is over!!  Time to go back to Africa! (followed by 5 good minutes of laughter)

Kids say the darndest things...

As every parent knows it's impossible to remember all the crazy stuff the kids say.  I've decided to start an ongoing post where I record the odd, sweet, and funny things that come up around the house.  

I wish I could remember them all... Like the time Zeb told the dog to "Shut-down" instead of shut-up; or the time Liliana insisted that 1+1= 11... which makes total sense, if you ask me.  

Henry, with his new-found English, never ceases to crack me up.  The other day Liliana told him that he wasn't smart.  He said he was smart.  She said he didn't know what 2+2 equals.  He said he did know what 2+2 equals.  She said, "Well, Henweeeeee, what does 2+2 equal?"  And with more confidence that I have ever seen him muster, he replied, "2+2 equals W!!!"

Several years ago, when my sweet Michal was 5 years old, she crawled up into my lap and said, "Mama, you're booootiful and I'm boooootiful, and we're lovers."  My heart melted as I said to her, "Well, come let's love, baby girl!"

Michal is definitely the lover of the family, but she has always been the funny one, too.  She was cracking jokes when she was tee-niny.  Her mouth has gotten her into a fair share of trouble, though.  She called Lee a stupid old man when she was just 3 years old because he asked if he needed to buy milk.  I guess she thought any smart, young man would know that there was an entire gallon in the fridge.   

Liliana, who is currently in speech, called our switch a "bitch" for several months during her 4th year of life.  Thankfully, she can say the "sw" blend now.  She also refused to call people people for several years.  She called them humans.  "Mama, wook at dat hooomen!"

My favorite memory of Zeb is when he was at that awkward, I want to make you laugh age between 3 and 4.  All parents know what I'm talking about.  The kid acts stupid and you're supposed to laugh.  One day, in an effort to do as such, he said, "Mom, look at this funny face!!  It's gonna crap you up!!" Of course I laughed, but not at the face he was making.  Before I recovered to correct him, he said, "Mama! If that face crapped you up, this face is really, really gonna crap you up, WATCH!!"  

Liliana started Kindergarten this year and came home telling me about a little girl with decorations in her hair.  I asked her if they were beads and she said, yes.  Then she asked me if I had ever seen a black person before.  Keep in mind her little brother is Ethiopian.  

Black History month opened up Liliana's eyes to different colors and races.  She was so excited to tell me about "Marfin Loofer who was a king and he's our pwesident, but he died."  She told me that "Marfin Loofer and God were friends and Marfin Loofer made it where everyone could drink out of the big water fountain.  Some people had to drink out of the wittle water fountain." I love that our schools celebrate Black History!  

Zeb, at 10, was telling me what Martin Luther King did for our nation and I was very impressed.  He named several specific things and then paused for a moment, cocked his head, and said, "And didn't he invent peanut butter, too, Mom?"

Michal, though Latino, thought she was black for several years.  She came home in first grade saying Martin Luther King did great things for people like her and another little girl in her class.  That same year, this was her self portrait:  

On several occasions she would talk about her and a little girl (who is black) being the same.  I was asked if I ever corrected her and, no, I never did.  I don't really care what color she thinks she is and is it really important, anyway?  She was a bit miffed, though, when we told her that her little brother was coming from Ethiopia.  "Well, that's not fair!  Now I'm not gonna win the dark contest anymore!"

Honestly, I thought Liliana was a racist for awhile, then I realized she was just mean (starting school assured me she had no concept of color, especially after the beaded hair and Marfin Loofer comments).  When Henry first came home she was a bit resistant to sharing.  She'd make comments like, "I don't share my milk with boys who were born in a village." In retrospect, I honestly believe that was the only difference she found in Henry... that he was born in a village; although she did ask me if Queen Helene's Body Lotion would turn her brown like "Henweeee."  I asked her if she wanted to be brown like Henry and she said YES!  I told her it'd take more than Queen Helene's, but she smeared it on thick, nonetheless.  We agreed to pray about it. 

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Feel free to visit My Own Dose of Funny.  It's my ongoing diary of the the things I'd like to remember. 

Dirty Words: Walmart & McDonalds

Although I have 1,000 things to do, I blog.  

Yes, blogging is quite therapeutic.  

And it's free.

And free is good.

And I know starting a sentence with "and" is a no-no.  I would tell you that I taught high school English for three grueling years, but I don't want you proof reading everything I write.  That would soooo screw up my therapy. And I'm no grammarian.  I don't even like grammarians (I do like you, Suzanne, but you're the only one).

Today I took the kids to the dentist.  Did I mention that there are FOUR of them?

Four sets of pearly whites.  Or butter-yellows.  Depends on the day and the kid.

 

I have to admit that the dentist is a big deterrent to us having more kids.  If only my teeth were part of my body!  We have great health insurance, but...

Today's visit was a mere $449.00.  Not a bad price for 30 child-less minutes with a stack of magazines.  I'm thinking if they'd provide multiple copies of People and Us Weekly it would totally draw in more patients.  They could even increase the rates.  I'd pay more, especially if they kept the kids back there longer.  Since when did dental care become so fast?  I should email them my suggestions.  

I must have some deep-seeded need for occasional misery because we went to Walmart after leaving the dentist.  And then we went to McDonalds.   Don't judge me- on either count.

We don't go to McDonalds very often.  In fact, I don't think the four kids and I have ever dined in (and yes, I use the term "dine" very loosely).  For the last few years, I've blamed it on money, but I realized today that it has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE RECESSION.  We don't dine in because it is torturous in every way.  Complete agony.  

I'm thinking about writing a book about the experience and calling it 

28 Minutes in Hell McDonalds.  

Feel free to pre order.

I would elaborate on the hellaciousness of today, but then you may not buy the book.  And I need the money for the next set of dentist appointments, at which time I will buy my own copy of People before arriving.   

My therapy session must come to an end...  The kitchen counters are covered with kill-the-earth-plastic bags, and the groceries don't walk themselves to the pantry.  My chores (laundry, cooking, Pinterest) are never ending...

Oh, by the way... NO CAVITIES!!! Makes me smile for sure...