...the Life and Times of Karolyn Lewis.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Kids say the darndest things...

As every parent knows it's impossible to remember all the crazy stuff the kids say.  I've decided to start an ongoing post where I record the odd, sweet, and funny things that come up around the house.  

I wish I could remember them all... Like the time Zeb told the dog to "Shut-down" instead of shut-up; or the time Liliana insisted that 1+1= 11... which makes total sense, if you ask me.  

Henry, with his new-found English, never ceases to crack me up.  The other day Liliana told him that he wasn't smart.  He said he was smart.  She said he didn't know what 2+2 equals.  He said he did know what 2+2 equals.  She said, "Well, Henweeeeee, what does 2+2 equal?"  And with more confidence that I have ever seen him muster, he replied, "2+2 equals W!!!"

Several years ago, when my sweet Michal was 5 years old, she crawled up into my lap and said, "Mama, you're booootiful and I'm boooootiful, and we're lovers."  My heart melted as I said to her, "Well, come let's love, baby girl!"

Michal is definitely the lover of the family, but she has always been the funny one, too.  She was cracking jokes when she was tee-niny.  Her mouth has gotten her into a fair share of trouble, though.  She called Lee a stupid old man when she was just 3 years old because he asked if he needed to buy milk.  I guess she thought any smart, young man would know that there was an entire gallon in the fridge.   

Liliana, who is currently in speech, called our switch a "bitch" for several months during her 4th year of life.  Thankfully, she can say the "sw" blend now.  She also refused to call people people for several years.  She called them humans.  "Mama, wook at dat hooomen!"

My favorite memory of Zeb is when he was at that awkward, I want to make you laugh age between 3 and 4.  All parents know what I'm talking about.  The kid acts stupid and you're supposed to laugh.  One day, in an effort to do as such, he said, "Mom, look at this funny face!!  It's gonna crap you up!!" Of course I laughed, but not at the face he was making.  Before I recovered to correct him, he said, "Mama! If that face crapped you up, this face is really, really gonna crap you up, WATCH!!"  

Liliana started Kindergarten this year and came home telling me about a little girl with decorations in her hair.  I asked her if they were beads and she said, yes.  Then she asked me if I had ever seen a black person before.  Keep in mind her little brother is Ethiopian.  

Black History month opened up Liliana's eyes to different colors and races.  She was so excited to tell me about "Marfin Loofer who was a king and he's our pwesident, but he died."  She told me that "Marfin Loofer and God were friends and Marfin Loofer made it where everyone could drink out of the big water fountain.  Some people had to drink out of the wittle water fountain." I love that our schools celebrate Black History!  

Zeb, at 10, was telling me what Martin Luther King did for our nation and I was very impressed.  He named several specific things and then paused for a moment, cocked his head, and said, "And didn't he invent peanut butter, too, Mom?"

Michal, though Latino, thought she was black for several years.  She came home in first grade saying Martin Luther King did great things for people like her and another little girl in her class.  That same year, this was her self portrait:  

On several occasions she would talk about her and a little girl (who is black) being the same.  I was asked if I ever corrected her and, no, I never did.  I don't really care what color she thinks she is and is it really important, anyway?  She was a bit miffed, though, when we told her that her little brother was coming from Ethiopia.  "Well, that's not fair!  Now I'm not gonna win the dark contest anymore!"

Honestly, I thought Liliana was a racist for awhile, then I realized she was just mean (starting school assured me she had no concept of color, especially after the beaded hair and Marfin Loofer comments).  When Henry first came home she was a bit resistant to sharing.  She'd make comments like, "I don't share my milk with boys who were born in a village." In retrospect, I honestly believe that was the only difference she found in Henry... that he was born in a village; although she did ask me if Queen Helene's Body Lotion would turn her brown like "Henweeee."  I asked her if she wanted to be brown like Henry and she said YES!  I told her it'd take more than Queen Helene's, but she smeared it on thick, nonetheless.  We agreed to pray about it. 


Feel free to visit My Own Dose of Funny.  It's my ongoing diary of the the things I'd like to remember. 


  1. Karolyn,
    Your posts are so good for the heart. Laughter makes the heart happy.
    You really should put a caution sign up before someone starts reading though. "warning: you are going to laugh yourself silly reading, might want to make sure restroom facility is readily available" hahahahahaha.
    keep the laughs coming.
    Kimberly Spear

  2. Love the 1+1=11 def since SUCK at math, I'll take english over geometry or allgebra anyday!! LOVED Michal's comment when she was five :) Children are such blessing my heart melts EVERYTIME my nephew says "me love you toooo much" :) and breaks everytime he says "me miss you, you come to my house?"

  3. definitely need to read this, Mrs. Karolyn!! It cracks me up everytime! The minds of younsters!! I am getting this framed and it is going in my future office :) http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/2009/03/middle-wife.html